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A woman can spend years trying to explain the same pain to a man who genuinely loves her. Not because he does not care. Because love and capacity are not the same thing. Relationships do not rise to the level of your intentions. They fall to the level of your capacity under pressure. That is why communication tools fail. That is why promises to do better do not last. The issue is almost never a lack of love. It is a lack of capacity. And capacity can be built. My books SAFE and Capacity are link
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Do you feel like you constantly have to “do” things in a relationship to be loved? Be helpful and useful Be easy and obedient Be low maintenance If yes you’re not alone If you grew up only feeling loved when you were useful and “good” then your body starts to see rest as a threat Which leads to over giving Overexplaining and over preforming But here’s what I wish I would’ve known sooner The right people will love you on your productive days and blanket on the couch messy days That is what secure
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